Boobah

One of the most bizarre and mind boggling TV shows I've ever seen is a childrens program called 'Boobah' .. I can't decide if it's been made by extra-terrestrial aliens or someone who has had one too many bad acid trips.

The five main porcine furry characters arrive from the sky in a ball of light with a rainbow contrail, awaken with a 'pfft' noise, and after pocking their large dome heads out of what looks suspicially like a foreskin, scan their eyes left and right with a ratchety clacking sound. they then proceed to run around in circles, bumping chaotically off each other untill a childs voice shouts their names, at which point one by one they stop and stand at attention.

And their names, unpronounceable .. something like 'gumbah' and 'zumbah' and 'zimzimzimbah' to name a few.

Then they perform a most poorly choreographed and executed dance routine, to the 'tune' of a clonking repetitous rhythm accompanied by what can only be described as farting noises. During the dance they take turns running up to the camera, scan their eyes left and right (accompanied by the ratcheting sound), and then flash the lights in their eyebrows a few times (yes you read right), run back and continue with the dancing.

The rythm increases in tempo and the dancing becomes more hectic untill they are again bumping chaotically of each other, at which point they rise into the air, make a lot of 'Weee!' noises, form a parachute style formation in the air, excrete a stream of white material from their heads (??) which mixes together and spins in the center, while acompanied by a 'Doo..Doo..Dooodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo' sound.

Next we have a small child in a room that looks like a cross between the inside of a lava lamp and a Jackson Pollock painting, who retrieves a gift wrapped box floating in midair as the narrator proclaims 'A present for the story people'

Next a segment with characters such as 'Mr Man', 'Mrs Lady', 'Granpapa' and so on, who try to undertake some mundane activity such as posting a letter, while the narrators dead-pan delivery gives us such gems as 'Oh, it's a letterbox' or 'It's Mr Man' or even 'It doesn't fit' Finally the narrator announces 'Goodbye', the story people wave, and we move on.

After some more bizarre and inexplicable shenanigans from the crew of the spaceship 'boobah', they climb back into their 'flight seats' Have one last ratchet-eye scan of their surroundings, one last flash of the eyebrow-lights (signalling all is well no doubt), give a final farewell fart as their heads retract back into their foreskins, rotate faster and faster until a blur, then lift off and fly over the horizen with their characteristic rainbow contrail following behind. As they fly off a child stands in the foreground watching, jumping up and down, waving and saying 'boobah' over and over again. Roll credits.

Don't try to see who produces the show or the country of origin in the credits, it doesn't say, but could very well be along the lines of 'copyright (c) Zeta reticulii c/o- the horsehead nebula, galactic co-ordinates +110, -12.'

if you haven't seen 'Boobah' I would strongly recommend you do at least once, but I warn you, your life may never be the same again.

Boobah currently screens on ABC 2 at 7:30am on saturday mornings.

Gladiators

Returning to the 7 network (yawn). The bios of the new gladiators was given in the latest episode of 'TV week' - I've decided to include a little more info for each one ...

BIONICA
Named after an obscure B-grade sci-fi flick, Bionica's motto is 'harder, faster, Stronger' as this phrase is often heard eminating from her bedroom at night. Bionica excels at the game of Powerball, but has yet to win any money.

THUNDER
Thunder was named by the elders (ie the show's producers). the name 'Thunder' may be steeped in fable and mythology, but clues where given early in his life when he was given the name 'You little fart'

TANK
Tank has arms like cannons and is prone to sporadic verbal outbursts of 'Sir Yes Sir'. Tank apparently personifies the fact that body and brain mass are usually in inverse proportion.

NOMAD
Named after the non-descript toyota people-mover, Nomad claims to be 'The king of the rings'. If by 'Ring' he means 'Anal sphincter', then who am I to argue ?

SCAR
Scar is known for the scars across his chest, and is often seen to slap his hand across it while shouting 'Scar'. Why he does this remains a mystery, but it has been speculated he does this to indicate the scar is causing him some discomfort. Shockingly it appears the scars are self-inflicted.

OLYMPIA
Olympia in a previous life was an olympic pole-vaulter, and has been included in the gladiator ranks in the hope of pole-vaulting the show into higher ratings.

ANGEL
Arguably the most attractive of the gladiators, Angel is best known for the feathers in hair. Where the feathers originate remain a mystery, but the fact that several nearby chicken coups show evidence of disturbance at night offers a possible clue.

OUTLAW
Outlaw professes to be somewhat of a maverick. He also claims his long hair is made from the hair of wolves he has hunted down and fought. His designer stubble then must be made from the hair of rabbits and small rodents he hunted down when he was feeling slightly peckish.

VIPER
Misnamed 'Viper', Viper is in fact an eastern european with a lisp who previously stood at traffic lights and wiped car windows for money with her electric blue hair-mop. When spotted by a talent scout she proclaimed 'I am ze viper'. when asked if she would like to be a gladiator, Viper replied 'Vot iz Zat?'

NITRO
Some debate centers on the origin of Nitro's name. Some say she is named for 'Nitroglycerine', a highly volatile and unstable chemical. Others suggest Nitro was named for 'Nitrous Oxide', a colourless gas that dulls the senses and induces sporadic fits of hysterical laughter.

KOUTA
Kouta is an ex AFL football player who excels at the game of aerial ping-pong. Unfortunately aerial ping-pong is not one of the games played in the gladiator arena, and coupled with the fact Kouta praises fair play and sportsmanship, the reason for his unlikely inclusion in the gladiator ranks remains a mystery.

AMAZON
Much as it could be said that the Amazon jungle is 'the land that time forgot' Amazon could be described as possesing'The hair that time forgot', firmly rooted as it is in the punk fashion of the early 1980's. Judging by the obvious amount of hair spray Amazons hair may in fact be an as yet unrevealed secret weapon.

HUNTER
One of Hunters signature moves is said to be the 'spider-man', a tactical move that comprises a complex sideways shuffling motion, followed by retreating under the nearest refridgerator at the slightest sign of any provocation.

DESTINY
Some suggest Destiny is distantly related to Ellie-Mae Clampett, but the voracity of this claim remains disputed. Destiny claims to believe 'all things happen for a reason' and while the true destiny of Destiny remains to be revealed, it will no doubt come about as the result of a good reason.

Ignorance is bliss

OK, some brainless vandal smashed my car window .. why ? To rifle through the glove box and then take NOTHING ... not the stereo, not the e-tag, they even left my sunnies. I suspect they were looking for a GPS unit, they seem all the rage for thieves these days .. from now on I'm gonna park my car with the glove and console boxes OPEN .. so they can see I don't have one.

I keep hearing from Malcolm Turnbull about how labor shouldn't say that interests rates will probably continue to rise - beacuse he thinks it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Don't mention the elephant Malcolm !! Just keep us all in the dark and feed us B.S. - yeah the libs had that down to a fine art. God save us from people who withold information for our own sake ! As they say the road to hell is paved with the best of intentions. It's all rather orwellian. But I'd rather be warned if I'm about to step into a hole before I fall into it, thanks very much. It's a bit like Jack Nicholson's character - 'You can't handle the truth' !! I say, Yes we can. To be forewarned is to be fore-armed

One other thing about interest rates .. In the economy (as well as many other things) there is a phenomenon called 'hysterisis'. I heard someone say 'See ? I told you interest rates would rise under labor!' When I mentioned hysterisis their eyes glazed over and they faded out (Or rather I should say their ONE eye faded out). Hysterisis is defined as 'The lagging of an effect behind it's cause..' Put your foot on the brake and there is a definite delay between pressure on the pedal on the car slowing down - same thing in the economy but the delay is months or even years rather than the milliseconds with the brake pedal example. My point is the current interest rates are an effect of the Liberal coalition policies, not Labor's ! Give them a chance, they've only just got into power! I don't want to go into lengthy explanations of how interest rates are a blunt tool used to control inflation and growth (not my field anyway) but I do want to say let's gave Labor a year or two before judgeing their handling of the economy.

Lastly, Shaun Macellef (sp??) made the very good point .. if no currency is based on the gold standard anymore but only judge their value in relation to other currencies, doesn't that mean that all currencies are ultimately worthless ? - absolutely true. The whole world of economics seems to me to be a house of straw built on shifting sand, and that's a worrying thought.

But .. Let's not tell the people that one eh Malcolm ? As George Orwell once said, Ignorance is bliss.

Scientific Limericks

Time to lighten the mood.

Many years ago 'Omni' magazine ran a competition for 'scientific limericks'. There were many entries, but these ones managed to permanently lodge themselves in my brain for some reason.


A voice from the UFO cried
'To the smartest we'll give a free ride!'
Several men voulanteered
but the ship disappeared
with a whale and two dolphins inside

'The universe is curved!' noted Fred,
an astronomer learned and read.
'This scope has such power
I've just spent an hour
examining the back of my head!'.

'Don't you know where all this is leading ?
This nightmare of selective breeding ?'
He spat on the ground
and then turned around
and continued on with his weeding.

Sorry

Hmmm, Pissing in the wind. No, more like whistling in the dark. Something to do with the 'theory of mind' ? No man is an island, yet each is the center of their own universe. Who was it that said 'We perceive reality in much the same way as a man in a cave perceives the world outside by watching the shadows on the wall' no wonder there are as many viewpoints as those who experience them !!

Pos on, no negatron. Oh well, we cannot know light if we don't know dark, but light is better than darkness, can't deny that. Bang your head against the wall or be persistant. Which breaks first, the wall or your head ? The pain is an attempt to tell you, 'stop doing that !'

So I stop - but then am left behind ! Don't want that either !
Don't leave me! Don't abandon me! Ahh, but such is life, friends come and friends go, and you can't be friends with everyone.

It's no accident I took the handle 'evangelion' - Shinji Ikari, me in my darkest moments.

I slap myself across my face, 'Wake up! Snap out of it! you can't have what you want until you want what you have!'

Pos on, no negatron. Sounds like good advice to me.

Now that I've finally convinced you I'm a space cadet, I'll come back to Earth for a minute.

How brilliant is it we finally have some reconciliation with the indigenous peoples of this country! John Howard didn't dare show his face, the creep. I'm being more impressed with Kevin Rudd's performance as each day passes. Saying sorry wasn't so hard was it ? And look at the outpuring of emotion from those 2 little words. Let the healing begin.

Heidi Murkoff

If you know me, and do a little digging, it wouldn't be hard to figure who I'm talking about. But out of respect for her, and her privacy, She shall remain nameless.

Now if someone tells you they're currently reading Heidi Murkoff, it can only really mean one thing. And if I'm not adding 2+2 and getting 5, then it's really big news and I'm really happy for her.

Now when I first discovered this, I wanted to plaster it everywhere, I'm so happy for her ! but something prevented me, I don't know, It's just something about the way it was obliquely mentioned, not straight out, sort of reserved. Almost like 'Well here it is, if you figure it out then good for you.' I'm sure others have made the connection, but I've heard nothing. Am I the first ? I sort of doubt it. And if I'm not, and they're keeping it quiet, why would I want to be the one to reveal it to all and sundry ??

First I thought of an obscure post on her page, but no, that was too obvious. Then I thought of something similar on NC, but no, I don't want to do that either. I thought of a private message to her, but I'm reluctant to do that because she's never responded to me in the past and the last private message I sent went unread untill it expired. So you know I got the impression she doesn't want me to message her privately at all. The only place I have is here. So I wanted to make mention of it here, this is sort of like my private retreat, I feel safe here, if anyone ever comes here I never know, maybe they do, maybe they don't.

but anyway as pathetic as that sounds this post isn't really about me, it's about her, and the possible very good news of hers, I'm absolutely foocking stoked if it's true, There's nothing really I can do or say to assure her it's all gonna be ok, she may be feeling a little apprehensive about it (who wouldn't) but I don't really feel in the position to do that, not while it's still in this ambigous unrevealed state.

Aww gawd I'm waffling.
All I want to say is CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!!!

RIP Heath Ledger

I wanna say goodbye to Heath Ledger. I didn't know him personally, but he seemed like a genuine nice guy, one of natures gentleman. It's a sad loss.

I also want to comment on two peripheral issues surrounding Heaths untimely death.

Drug Companies -
There'e some speculation that a particular type of sleeping drug contributed in some way. I won't comment on that as the jury is still out but the problem with drug companies is that they are run entirely on the profit motive. The humanitarian cause has gone out the window. I don't begrudge them (or any company) making profits but the commercialization of the health industry has had such consequences as the refusal to produce life saving drugs when they are considered 'not commercially viable' (as in when only a small number of people have that particular ailment). They are not above a little manipulation of the media and of even straight out denial if one of their drugs has been found to have severe side-effects. There is also the practice of pricing many drugs beyond the reach of many of those in thirld world countries (and those in the US without health insurance) who desperately need them. They often actively persecute smaller companies for making the same drugs available at lower cost. They claim they need to recoup their Research and Development costs but it is a fact that most research on new drugs is carried out in academic institutions, the US taxpayer is effectively funding the majority of drug research, and yet the multinationals claim as much profit as the market can bear. We are talking about peoples health and well being here and leaving medicine solely to the whim of market forces seems totally inhumane to me.

Papparazi -
The Papparazi hounded Heath in Australia and due to their actions Heath chose to leave Australia permanently. I won't forget the scene I saw where a few paparazzi squirted him with water pistols as a form a 'payback' for Heath allegedly spitting at them at some previous point in time. What a stupid, childish and ridiculous thing to do. Onya guys! The paperazzi can sometimes behave so badly it amounts to nothing less than harassment, chasing people around, sticking a camera in their face at every opportunity, is it any wonder some celebs get so pissed off ? Wouldn't you ? It's just a game to them of course, and they justify themselves by saying 'Well if people didn't buy the magazines we wouldn't do it...' Sorry guys that argument doesn't wash. That same argument's been used by everyone from drug traffickers to kiddie porn peddlers, there's a market for lots of things and although gossip mags aren't illegal, harrasment and invasion of privacy is. some of them do the right thing of course, but those that don't who are money hungry and will resort to the lowest of tactics to get the 'money shot' are worthy of nothing more than contempt.

Randoms 2

I hate it when you're walking on wet concrete at night and you accidentally stand on a snail and it squishes up between your toes.

Some people think I'm a 'space cadet'. I disagree, and so does my invisible friend, the one with the propellor cap.

I seem to be ignored a lot on forums, if not I'm being shot down. That can be depressing. I'm not into comment wars.

I go all shy sometimes.

I find myself standing on a hill waving a flag, it can get lonely up there by myself, but idealism, principles and stubborness keep me there - the fool on the hill.

My favourite poem -


Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish that man would go away


The shortest poem in the english language -

(concerning the ancient relationship between human beings and parasitic blood-sucking insects, specifically fleas)


Adam had'em


What the hell use are mosquitoes in the grand scheme of things anyway ?

That's all. I'm in a strange mood.