First post

This is the first ever post I put on this blog, or rather an earlier blog I deleted, cos it got just, well a bit too revealing about me ...
I dedicate this to all the male Nikki fans .. a message from the 'Hunky Dory man' ...

Hi, this is my first blog.

Love is a great feeling when reciprocated, otherwise it just hurts. Someone said being in love is a little like being insane, it can drive you to do crazy things if you let yourself become a victim! I guess a lesson to be learned when you find yourself with unrequited love is to become the master of your emotions rather than be the victim of them.

I'd say we all have certain ideals and expectations about a potential partner, both unconcious and concious. So if we come across someone who goes a long way to meeting those ideals - we may find ourselves gettin a crush on them - sort of like the unconcious motivation to go and meet them. But for whatever reason, shyness, etc., or by virtue of circumstance, if we don't approach them the aspiration is frustrated, which makes the crush stronger, a feedback loop occurs that can literally drive you mad ! So the lesson there is - don't sit on it, declare your love and hang the consequences !

So let's say you've declared your love and your potential partner has accepted the possibility of you as a potential partner, and everything's hunky dory - as the relationship develops It may be that the ideals and expectations you had are'nt matched by the reality and what happens ? bonk-bonnngg - disappointment. The crush wears off and you start looking elsewhere, how sad.

The lesson from that could be - give up expectations ! They only lead to disappointment. The secret of 'true' love is in my opinion unconditional acceptance - accepting the other for all their perceived faults as well as their virtues.

I like the idea, somewhere from the eastern philosophies I believe, that you can
only truly achieve happiness when you accept other people unconditionally - warts and all, for in truth they aren't warts at all, merely interpretations and judgements you have decreed as 'this is how it is' and these judgements are highly personal and have in reality nothing to do with the person who is being judged.

But sometimes, for whatever reason, it just doesn't work. and that can be sad and heartbreaking, but that which does not kill you makes you stronger. Take heart in the fact, that as shakespeare said "It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all "

Or maybe I just need to get out more ...

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