Emo kid

Ranting and raving about apparent injustice in the world is no great stretch for me, what is a stretch is sharing honest stuff about myself, so here goes.

I hated school, I left as soon as I had the school certificate (leaving certificate). I loved science, was average at maths (I told myself I couldn't do it, I found out later that I could), Commerce was like just so much BS, an elective I did was music - I enjoyed that. the reason I left was not because of academic ability but because being a quiet sensitive boy I was the target of every psychological abuse my classmates could think of, I don't believe in violence but could defend myself physically, so physical bullying wasn't a problem ... being an emo kid being ostracized was a continual nightmare - The teachers said 'Just ignore them and they'll get bored' - tried that and it didn't work! I wasn't able to hide the hurt I felt ... wanting so much to be popular but not being so .. Anyway although I was scarred I'm largely over it - although to this day I'm very reserved and cautious about making new friends - you know it's a behaviour pattern that gets learned and it's hard to unlearn it.

So anyway I left school and fell into a job in a place that made yoghurt, rose up through the ranks and did a food technology degree, ended up being head of quality control at Kellogs before resigning to do electronics. So I did that and worked for a few different companies before going out on my own as a sub-contractor which I've been doing for about 10 years now...

I can't help but think though that although I'm much older and wiser than that school boy I still have within that emo kid who cries at the fact that no-one seems to like him or talk to him .. even though I have a few very good friends ..

I'm not really trying to make a point here I'm just sharing stuff about myself, no real reason other than .. maybe someone might get something from it, and for myself, I've said many times this is an experiment in my self expression .. putting stuff out here even though in all probability no-one is listening.