Merry Christmas.

Yes, it's that time of year again. Time to bring out and dust off the tinsel and baubles and hang them up where appropriate. Here's a few I like to bring out avery year ...

Celebrities Lament (Away in a manger)
Away with that stranger
what's there in his head ?
I think that he likes me
just wants me in bed

I don't know his name
but I do know that face
I don't think I like this
I'll carry some mace!

Cats Lament (Silent night)
Holy light, holy sound.
What's that smell?
crackers around.
Watch those kids they'll stick one up your arse
and that big tall one can run really fast
It's hard being a cat on cracker ni-ight!
It's hard being a cat on cracker night.

Area 51 Lament (Hark! the herald angels)
Hark! the herald eggheads sing
"Bring that strange confounded thing!
We don't know what it was made for
strange with it's lights and a bell that rings!
Some say it was made by aliens
Falalah lalalah lah-lah-lah
We say it's made by Australians
Falalalalah lah-lah lah lah."

Santas Lament (Jingle bells)
Jingle bells, Santa smells
kids have come all day
Oh what fun a shopping mall
ten days 'till christmas day eh?

What was that? Barbie bratz?
What the hell are those?
what's that odour rising up?
And leave the beard alone!

Peace and goodwill to all.